Struggling to find the middle ground

I am struggling to find a subject to post on. The two ideas that offer themselves are:

1) why does the balsamic dressing on my lunch keep leaping at me and spattering itself over me? Is it not enough that it’s already all over my trousers?

2) What is time? Is there a time that isn’t now?

As you may understand, one of these topics offers little in the way of intelligent blogging, the other offers far too much. In the interests of my constant quest for balance in my life, I refuse to blog about either. But let it be known that this is what today is like  for me – the issues are all too little or too big and there is nothing that seems the right size to tackle.

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One thought on “Struggling to find the middle ground

  1. A Distant Relative says:

    I almost didn’t reply. After all, why should we, your avid readers, who follow your timeless blog (with a fervour that Songs of Preys fanatics would be proud of) in the expectation that we will be entertained, amused and educated, suddenly find that we are expected to do a bit of work for a change?
    You will be horrified to hear, however, that I relented. I felt that no cry for help from a damsel in diss dress should go unheeded and so I offer a few suggestions:

    First the really obvious one:
    Blog about a subject on which you are almost perfectly ignorant. This way, you get a lot of feedback (mostly irate) and you learn about the subject very rapidly and with minimum effort as you benefit from other people’s research, opinions and prejudices.

    Second possibility:
    Have a rant about some minority group eg young Chinese women.
    (Nowadays, in China they really are in the minority.) This topic is certain to provoke many responses, not only from those with extreme racist and misogynistic tendencies but also from the Women’s Movement (which I always pictured as a kind of sinuous, tai-chi-type dance) and from groups attempting to stamp out racism, which conjures up a picture of a much more energetic and aggressive dance involving small fires and, probably, a big fire and the Duke of Edinburgh in a cooking pot.

    Third suggestion, perhaps the one you might feel less inclined to dismiss out of hand:
    Why not ask people to send you their three funniest/silliest/cunningest jokes?
    You could then invite your blog followers to rank them, enabling you publish and maintain a hopefully ever-changing Timeless Top Twelve and an ever-mouldering Groans from the Bottom of the Barrel.

    I’ll start you off with two that I like:

    Spike Milligan’s epitaph: “I told you I wasn’t well!”

    BTW, in a time before you were born, and therefore weren’t,
    Milligan answered both parts of your two part question.
    Re: “2) What is time? Is there a time that isn’t now?”
    The second part is the easiest to answer:
    There are many times that are not now. In fact, no matter what time is written on the piece of paper, it is highly improbable that it will be exactly that time when a timeless person asks you for it. Milligan’s genius, of course was in stipulating that in such a case you did *not* show the time-enquirer the piece of paper. Of course, you could have had an infinite number of pieces of paper with different times written on them – but that would just be silly!
    I’m sure that by now you’ve worked out what time is. It’s no big deal – no mega-philosophical mystery. It’s whatever’s written on the piece of paper! Obvious, really!

    Back to the jokes/groans:
    Why did the young hot dog grow up to be a hamburger?
    Because he had the wrong roll model.

    I know that that’s less than three but many of your followers will be unable to resist sending you more than three and so I hope that this may help you in your
    “constant quest for balance in your life.”
    And, anyway, I can think of funnier ones, eg:
    They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian.
    They’re not laughing now!

    But I’m saving those for when your Jokes from the Folks project is up and punning.

    Meanwhile, well-done for managing to blog even when you couldn’t decide on anything at the right level to blog about.

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