It is customary to provide a list of New Year’s resolutions one is planning to try. How passé.
Instead I will provide a list of New Year’s resolutions I will not be making.
- I will not be giving up smoking … because I never smoked.
- I will not resolve to eat less/lose weight … because I have a horse and the resultant extra exercise and stress means I need more calories, not fewer.
- I will not resolve to get a new job … because although the grass is always greener, I know which side my bread’s buttered.
- I will not resolve to stop mixing metaphors … because it’s the cream of the bee’s knees.
Happy New Year!