Two points of view, or, How to confuse a horse in one easy step

On Saturday I was a guest at a wedding with a morning ceremony, a break in the afternoon and an evening dinner & festivities. So I had to ride in the early afternoon.

Human turned up to ride me at an inconvenient time. I’d just been dressed up ready to go out and play as soon as I’d finished my dinner, which was about to be served.

I rushed to find a staff member to check he’d not been fed (by the clock he shouldn’t have been but half the yard had been out showing that morning and routines sometimes get a bit less strict on days like that). On confirming he hadn’t been fed I stripped off his turnout and fly mask and set to with brushes.

I groomed her back and butt a little while she was working on my withers but I got bored quickly. Also she didn’t seem to be in a mood to relax into it, so what was the point? I went back to watching to see if dinner was coming.

I worked fast enough with brushes and tack that I managed to get him off the yard before he had to watch everyone else getting fed. I have played this game before and everything is much smoother if he doesn’t realise he’s missing out.

We went to the inside school. Boring. Much less to look at. Apart from the pretty horse in the mirror. Last week when I was supposed to be standing while human fastened the door, I trotted off to sniff noses with horse-in-the-mirror, but he doesn’t smell right so I didn’t bother today.

I got on. After a mediocre beginning we managed a very creditable workout. We managed a 40 min. session, most of which was working nicely on the bit, most of it in trot, but with some canter in both directions.

She makes me work harder inside. I think she shows off in front of horse-and-rider-in-the-mirror because she’s always looking over at them. He does go pretty round though. I don’t like to work like that for long but she keeps me at it and I put up with it because I want to show horse in the mirror that I can do it too. It’s a lot easier than it was a few weeks ago but I worked really hard and got very sweaty so she made me walk round for ages once we were done.

It was not ideal that he was sweaty because I needed to cool him off, feed him, pop the lightweight turnout on, turn him out and get home to shower and glam up for the evening do. So we walked for ages.

Eventually we got back to the yard and peeked over the door of my stable. No hay.

Eventually we got back to the yard and peeked over the stable door. The bed had been made. So I tied him on the yard to avoid having to remake the bed because I didn’t have any time to spare.

Boring. I stuck my head into the rugroom for a bit but that was pretty boring too.

I untacked and we waited for him to dry. During which he deposited a pile on the yard and I cleaned it up. Unfortunately the nearest shovel was across the yard or I would have had enough warning to grab the shovel and hold it under him to catch the pile as it fell. I take great satisfaction in that on the occasions I manage it.

Eventually he was cool enough to feed.

Can’t talk. Eating. Nom nom nom.

But all too soon the bowl was empty. After checking for any that feed fell out over the edges, he rejected the bowl.

After I eat I want a drink.

I know. And also he’d sweated, so I was also keen for him to drink. But the water bucket from his stable is too heavy to drag out easily and the spare bucket by the tap was missing. My own bucket is being used to store some of his stuff in but I had an empty feed bowl in my hand. Surely he could drink from that. I scrubbed it out and filled it with water, slopping plenty on myself as I took it over to him.

More feed?! Yes I was good pony, worked hard, I get more feed, thankyou!

He put his nose in the bowl… and withdrew it quickly.


Yes his nose had got wet. That was not food! He looked beside the bowl for food. I giggled.

No food? Where is food?

He pushed it with his nose in case the food was underneath. Water slopped in his face.

Water is on my face! It is evil and wet! It has stolen the food!

He pawed at the bowl. More water slopped. He eyed it with disgust and mistrust. I laughed a lot.

Human has misunderstood the use of this bowl? She has brought it to me when it is malfunctioning. I am disappointed in human. And also in this food bowl, which I thought would know better than this.

Pony has a tiny brain. And apparently the tiny brain is upset by water in a food bowl. This is a horse who understands the rules of his world and does not like stupid humans trying to bend the rules. Food goes in food bowls, water goes in water buckets. Anything else is not permitted. But it’s so funny!

Needless to say he did not drink from the food bowl. I rugged him up and took him out to the field where he had his head in the big water bucket drinking deeply even before I had a chance to take his headcollar off.

This is where water lives. This water is good. All other water is evil. I will drink all of this water. It is yummy.

He did not manage to drink all of the water. But he drank enough that I had to fill it up again!


3 thoughts on “Two points of view, or, How to confuse a horse in one easy step

  1. The Lite Rider says:

    Ha, ha, I loved it. Sounded like a decent ride. Yay that you two could work again. Re the fork, I’ve not once managed to catch it as it falls!

    (Btw, while I may not be writing regularly, I did post a couple of really ridiculous photos of my lease horse’s “smile”. Do stop by, as you might get a good laugh.)

  2. I hang multiple water buckets in a stall. The saddle seat barn does not. The horses there will not drink from a second bucket. Pony brains are indeed tiny.

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