In praise of my husband to be

I’m publishing this exactly 6 months before our wedding day (our -0.5 anniversary, if you will) to say a few things about the benefits my future husband has already brought to my life.

  • He encouraged me to take my job when I was torn between it and another job offer made on the same day. He knew which job would make me happier even though I felt I ought to take the other one as it appeared to have more opportunities for the big career. He helped me to make the right choice and I could not conceive of any job that would suit me better.


  • I only drive because I moved in with him. Before that time I always lived close enough to good public transport to feel I could manage without a car. I would never have prioritised it enough to give it the money and time needed to pass the test. On top of that, I might well have given up without ever taking a test without his encouragement and belief that I could do it. Now I love having a car and being able to drive anywhere (even if I can’t park when I get there!)


  • He has helped me to see beyond my own assumptions and weaknesses. He is very good at assessing people and seeing a nice person for what they are, even if they do not think or behave the same way that he does. I think this is something he helps me with as, like a lot of people, I am naturally slow to trust someone different from myself.


  • He has learnt the basic law of living with me:  Things will get ugly unless I am fed regularly!

5 reasons why being married will be different from living together

This is a quick list that deliberately excludes “soppy stuff”, which after all goes without saying. 

  1. I will “go on” the mortgage and own part of the house. If I feel an impulse towards DIY I will act on it as the mood takes me!
  2. I will feel permitted to make medium to long-term plans for our shared future knowing that we both believe there will be a future to plan for.
  3. Our finances will be a shared resource/drain. We’ll open lots of different accounts for different things and it’ll encourage me to move away from my current bank that so rarely lives up to my modest expectations.
  4. I will no longer be able to honestly tell cold callers I am not the owner of the house and/or that I am not the wife of the person they’re calling to harass.
  5. When we go to the vets it will be easier because I will have the same surname as the cats.